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Minneapolis, MN

Welcome to Flock of Broads. Here you will find the musings of five smart gals affectionately called "The Flock", all currently based in Minneapolis, MN. From pie crusts to parties, beard oil to Beyoncé, fashion to fat pants, we cover life as we know it and even a few things in between. Pull up a chair and stay a while.

How To Dress For Your Age

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How To Dress For Your Age

Talia Wischmann

Congratulations on getting older!

Good things about aging: you've learned more, and you're not dead. Bad things about aging: we're not going to talk about that because today I chose to live in a little fantasy world where wrinkles don't exist.

Here are some things I've learned about dressing appropriately for my age and I wanted to share them with you:

  • Don't wear heels that are too high. They can cause foot damage and make you look like a stripper.
  • Don't wear shirts that are too short. Nobody wants to see that tramp stamp you got when you were 18.
  • Don't wear pants that are too tight. You have cellulite now and those dimples are not flattering.
  • Don't wear more than seven pieces of jewelry. Also sparkly makeup is distracting so avoid it.
  • Low-cut shirts and short skirts are a big no-no.
  • Cardigans are a woman's best friend when paired with a button-up shirt, respectable skirt and pumps.

These have always sounded a little too 1950's Good Housekeeping to me, so I came up with my own list of rules:

  • You should feel confident.
  • Dress for yourself, not your boss or your boyfriend.
  • Wear whatever the fuck you want.

Having another birthday shouldn't change how you feel in your clothes, or make you retire to pieces that you're not confident in. I'm 30 and proudly have a closet full of high-waisted skinny jeans, pencil skirts, crop-tops and five-inch spike heels.